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 Tobimaru

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PostSubject: Tobimaru   Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:25 pm

He sat down at the edge of the cliff looking at the sun set and looking at the birds as they flew freely in the air with no restriction. Tobimaru wondered what his parents would be like if he had the chance of seeing them and why he was put out that night to die. "I'm not free I’m like a slave stuck in this cursed world with restrictions, I can be free when my life is taken from me" said Tobimaru as he looked down on how far he would land if he actually jump off the cliff.

“Living is hard but dying is easy what makes life hard, is it the endless killing or is it the endless war, could it be that hate is a disease that cannot be cured.” said Tobimaru as he felt the wind crushing against him. He closed his eyes as tears came running down his cheek and dropping into the endless bottom of where he leap to. "Maybe I have a purpose, a purpose to live i was left to die in the cold night but I didn't maybe I have a part in this cursed and diseased world." He got up and looked down at the cliff, and knew even though the world seem like a disease to him. He would find the cure to purified this evil world and that was Tobimaru goal, to cure this disease of the troubled world.

He woke up and realised the pain and agony he was in the blood dripping from his arms, the exhaustion from the amount of chakra that was used up. Tobimaru realised that he was knocked out from the intense battle he was in. His eyes was steadily set on his target watching every move he made, he slowly took out a shadow shuriken and quickly threw it at his target. Aiming straight for his head hoping it would be a direct hit but it was a failure as the shuriken passed his head. Tobimaru smile as he knew what was coming next. There was another shuriken that was coming towards his enemy and it would be a direct hit as his enemy wasn’t in any position of stopping the second shuriken. Tobimaru closed his eyes, turned his back to his enemy with confident and said to himself “This is a start of curing this evil world of its diseases and achieving my goal.


Last edited by Tobimaru on Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mange
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Posts : 187
Join date : 2008-07-13
Age : 28
Location : Kokuei is training...thats why I havent posted in the RP as him. So yea.

PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru   Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:59 pm

The detail is ok.....there isnt really anything going on. Spelling and grammar are ok......it really isnt long....i'll give this a c. Meaning you can make an academy student, a genin, a chunnin or a tokubetsu jounin
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Mange
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Posts : 187
Join date : 2008-07-13
Age : 28
Location : Kokuei is training...thats why I havent posted in the RP as him. So yea.

PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru   Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:53 pm

It still isnt long, but I like it: B. You can make an academy student, a genin, a chunnin or a tokubetsu jounin, a jounin, or an ANBU
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